3 Secrets Men Need To Know To Have Greater Fulfillment & Happiness In Their Lives!

Three Secrets You Need To Know In Order To Have Greater Fulfillment & Happiness In Your Life!

 

3) Fulfillment is in large part the result of ones mind set, perspective and interpretation of reality and the truth!

For example, the glass is half full vs the glass is half empty perspective. In this scenario, the truth is there is a glass with an amount of liquid in it reaching the half way mark, yet there are 2 distinctly different ways (and in fact many more ways) to view that fact! One way of looking at it, is that it is half empty and the other way of viewing it, is that it is half full. Notice the key distinction between the reality or facts and the view or perspective on them. In other words, this does not mean that anything you believe is true, no matter how you view that scenario,  there is a glass with an amount of liquid in it reaching the half way mark. Yet the results and consequences of your view are dramatic and of great importance! The same goes for the meaning you give to the events and situations around you as well as the things that happen to you. For example, 2 people can both get fired from jobs they did not like, however the first could have the view that this is a great opportunity to now do what I really want to do, what i am great at! However the other might look at this as a horrible catastrophe, having no idea what he/she will do for a career, and believing that if he/she couldn’t keep that job he/she must not be intelligent or hardworking enough. Those are two distinctly different views and outlooks on the same event. As you have no doubt noticed, there are of course many other things an individual could think and take from those events.

The truth is, as human beings we are always in a perspective on something at any given time. Not only do we have certain views on everything in life, but we are also constantly in a perspective in the present. The great thing is, we get to choose our perspective! That’s right, we are not stuck in one perspective or view and we are not stuck with one meaning either, we all have the power to decide what perspective, view or meaning we want! I want to reiterate a point that this does not mean that anything you believe is true, there is a distinction between the truth and reality and your perspective on it, but there is also a relationship between the two. The way you do this is by first acknowledging that you have the power to choose a perspective. The second part is to start exploring those alternative views and perspectives. The third part is dwelling on what is true about them! That’s what makes this more than just positive thinking! You see beyond the fact that there are “positive” ways to look at a situation, there is truth in those views and perspective!

 

2) Another way to gain more fulfillment is to challenge yourself!

More specifically, not to jump off or out of tough times when they arise, when it is most tempting to quit! This brings us to your feelings and emotions, two words men hate to say and cringe when they hear. There is of course also certain feelings that accompany fulfillment. A peace, a contentment, a satisfaction and something that just feels right. However, despite the fact that people often say they feel very happy when they are fulfilled,  happiness need not be present to have fulfillment. In other words , the feelings you have do not determine whether or not you are fulfilled even though you may indeed be happy at the same time as you are fulfilled. Take for instance a challenge, an ordeal or a struggle of some kind. Many people find it very rewarding to push themselves, to challenge themselves. Similarly people often say that going through struggles and hard time is and can be very fulfilling both while they are going through it and afterwards once it is done.

 

1) The final way to gain more fulfillment in your life is to honor your values and stay on the journey!

In other words, it is critical to value the process not just the outcome. All to often people will say I am not fulfilled because I do not have this job. Or when i get this relationship then i will be fulfilled. There are several problems with this line of reasoning and the way around it involves the truth and your perspective on it.

First of, fulfillment comes from how the various values in the different areas of our life are met, not just from one value or one area of our life. Our fulfillment is the cumulative effect of our values being met at any given time. Therefore, to make the assertion than ones entire fulfillment comes from one thing cannot be true. Furthermore, fulfillment is not all or nothing, but rather it can be had and is realized in varying amounts and to varying degrees. This is again because our different values can be met in varying degrees at various times. Rarely is any single value being completely honored or fully opposed, usually it lies somewhere in between changing moment to moment day by day and that of course is only one value! We all have many values! You see, everyone in our culture and country, except for a very few minority of people, are constantly having multiple values of theirs met whether they realize it or not. However, often we do not realize this or we choose not to focus on those values that are being met and instead we focus on what we perceive to be values of ours that are not being met, or at least not being met as much as we would like.

This again comes back to perspective and meaning. In particular, the criteria we choose to set, for example our definition of success and what it means to have a value honored. If we define having a value honored in only one way and only as the ideal best case scenario we are missing out on the many ways a value can be honored and the different degrees to which it is honored. The same goes with success. Success can and should look different for different people because success should reflect each individuals own unique values and desires, not other peoples values and desires. Hence this is why one definition of success, a definition created by society or culture does not work for the different and unique people that comprise it.

So is fulfillment completely in our minds, a decision we make? No, not entirely but that does play a huge part and most of the time the largest part. You see even in those extreme circumstances where it is possible to have very little to no fulfillment, there is still hope for change and progress. In the process of achieving our goals and having our values fully met, our values can still be met in varying ways and to varying degrees; once again it is not all or nothing. Although it is paradoxical, we can be content with what we have and where we are at, yet still want more and work our way towards more.  Notice how we often move onto something new once we have it, that is we step into another process. Both the process and the achievement bring us fulfillment. Perhaps it is best said this way, achieving something or having something does not bring us fulfillment,  but they are not the means to fulfillment but the expression of it.

 

-If you want to know how this applies to you as a unique individual in your unique situation!

-If you want to take action to overcome the barriers and obstacles in your life while using your strengths!

-If you want to stay on track once you’re on track!

Start by booking a free 45 minute life coaching sample session using the form in the top right corner or email me at Shane@LifeOPC.com or call 250-889-0988 today!



 

 

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