5 Frequent Mistakes Men Make That Stop Them From Having Control, Confidence & Power!

5. The Power of Choice – Choice is something we do 3000 to 4000 times a day! Choice is simply the decisions we make to do something or not, to think about something or not to. That’s all.

Choice is very simple but very powerful! It is the foundation for everything we have done, everything we are doing and everything we will do. In fact, nothing you have done or will do can happen without your choice. This is because you always have a choice! In fact, even doing nothing is still a choice. This does not mean that you can do absolutely anything you want to or that you can control everything around you, it just means you have a choice as to how you respond to your environment and what you choose to accomplish. Choice turns the invisible to the visible!

How do you use the power of choice? This is very simple. First things first, simply don’t forget that you have a choice, don’t forget the power you already have!

Next, realize that there is a difference between being interested in something and committed to something. A decision is committing to something, not just being interested in it! If you want to make a strong choice, commit to a particular action! This means doing it despite how you may feel or what might seem to get in the way at times!

“You always have a choice, but you have to make a decision!” – Shane Johnson

Lastly, start making more decisions! Start with small easy ones and be aware of the choices you are making. It’s like lifting weights, start doing it and you will see results! But you need to practice!


4. Not Being A Leader – Being a leader means taking action on our own and not simply following others.

Being a leader is important because it moves you into action, causes you to think more about your choices, pushes you with more responsibility and enables you to feel the power you truly have. You are already leader whether you realize it or not, and you are a leader in ways that might surprise you! As men we are constantly setting an example for others and impacting them in many ways. Whether this is your friends, your brothers and sisters, your wife or your children, you are an example. Don’t be fooled, the people in your life are watching you and you have a choice as to how you will impact and influence them.

So how do you become a leader? First you need to realize your existing leadership. Make a list of the people in your life and you will see how many people you are already impacting.

Secondly, sign up for a leadership role, you don’t have to have any practice or experience in leadership do this because life has already given you the experience and practice you need . You also don’t need to be an incredible leader to be an effective leader, so don’t set the bar too high and don’t be hard on yourself! This is a start, so treat it as one.


3. Using Others Definition Of Strength – Instead of having your own correct definition of strength you are using someone else’s mistaken definition of what strength is.

Is real strength muscles? Is real strength getting your way? Is real strength having lots of money? Perhaps most importantly of all, why would you let society or other men tell you what real strength is? Who are they to determine that and who says they have the correct meaning? Rather, develop your own definition! How much strength does it take to be authentic and real? How much strength does it take a stand for what is right?  How much strength does it take to win the battle of your mind by deciding what you’ll focus on and what you won’t. How much strength does it take to confront someone? How much strength does it take to stay calm? How much strength does it take to be vulnerable and in touch with how you feel?

Striving for the wrong definition of strength will cause you to end up with something other than real strength. It will also cause you to feel like you are always falling short!

So how do you find the real definition of strength and create your own definition of strength? Many people have many definitions of strength, that does not mean there isn’t correct one, the point is you need to take the time and define what your definition of strength is, the correct definition! Only you can do that, so spend some time every day thinking about what real strength is and write down what you come up with. After you have come up with a reasonable number of ideas, compile them and decide which ones are the best. Then write out your definition: Strength is…



2. Revering Others – This means holding others on a pedestal, one that they do not deserve to be on!

When you hold others on a pedestal you are putting yourself in a pit. There is really no way around the fact that as a result of revering others you will see yourself in a worse light as a result of relative comparison. You will then begin to believe there are certain things they can do that you cannot because of who they are, in other words, because they are different than you and you believe they are superior to you. The truth is that in almost all things, it is not your ability that limits you but what you are willing to do. This is besides the fact that the pedestal perspective makes absolutely no sense to begin with! Each of these people have their own problems and weaknesses many of which you cannot see because you simply don’t know them well enough. But just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. No one has it all together, that is a fact. Everybody experiences highs and lows, fears and guilt, failure and regret, that is part of what it is to be human. And one things you already know is that they, just like you, are human beings.

So how do you stop revering others? Instead of holding certain people you know on a pedestal remind yourself that they are human beings just like you!

Ask yourself the following questions: Who are the people you hold in such high regards? How well do you really know them? What small part of their life do you see? How much time do you actually spend with them?

You can also think about it in reverse, think about all of the things they don’t know about you! Then flip it around, just like this, there are many things you don’t know about them! Try imagining some of them!

Lastly, if you really need to, get to know them better! Spend some real one on one time with them. The more you get to know these people the more you will see they’re weaknesses, limitations and faults!



1. Unwillingness To Have The Journey – The journey is the process, the time as well as the ups and downs on the way to the final outcome and the result that you want!

Character, perseverance and strength are created through struggles and trials not easy carefree times! In other words, it is the process it’s self that critical to getting the results you want. There is no way around it, no easy way out and no short cut home! Character, perseverance and strength are not something you are just born with or something you simply decide that one day you are going to have. Of course the journey itself it worthless if you don’t have the right perspective while you are on it. Make sure you have the correct perspective, know the purpose of the journey and your end goal, use your experiences and knowledge you gain along the way to improve yourself, your ability and your understanding!

If you look at any accomplished individual you will see they had their own journey with times that were very rough. If you ask them, they will tell you that journey was a critical part of them being where they are today!

So how do you do this? Don’t get off of the ride! Don’t short circuit the process by refusing to continue! When the times get tough remind yourself of the reason behind it. Look forward to tough times knowing this is an opportunity! When you hit tough times you must see them as delays, not defeat or denial!


-If you want to know how this applies to you as a unique individual in your unique situation!

-If you want to take action to overcome the barriers and obstacles in your life while using your strengths!

-If you want to stay on track once you’re on track!

Start by booking a free 45 minute life coaching sample session using the form in the top right corner or email me at Shane@LifeOPC.com or call 250-889-0988 today!


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