Archive for the ‘JOB & CAREER: Major mistakes men make that cause them to be unsuccessful in their career and job!’ Category

5 Mistakes Men Make Causing Them To Be Frustrated, Unproductive and Unsuccessful At Work, In Their Job & During Their Career!

Saturday, December 3rd, 2011


5. Not Improving Your Strengths At Work, In Your Job and During Your Career –  That’s right, improving what you are already good, not what you are bad at is the only way to go from good to great at work, in your job and during your career!

This may seem counter intuitive because since we’ve been a child  all we’ve been told that we need to improve our weaknesses! Think about it, in school it is always the lowest grade that gets the most attention.  The problem is, weaknesses rarely become more than average abilities and being average at work, in your job and during your career is not what you want. The reason weaknesses tend to stay weak is because their maximum potential simply isn’t very high. The truth is not all abilities have the same maximum limits! In fact your strengths actually have a much higher maximum ability that your weaknesses!  No one ever achieved great success at work, in their job or at their career by becoming average at a whole bunch of different stuff! Plus, our time and effort is not only very valuable but very limited, so it would make sense to spend it on what is going to give us the highest return on our investment!

So how do you improve your strengths? Well first you have to know your strengths and those potential strengths that may seem weak but are loaded with potential. It’s surprising how often we don’t notice what we are good at, and of course it is especially difficult to know those things we are not good at but have the potential to be great in at work, in our job and during our career.

The next key point is the multiplier effect. You have to be willing to put the time and effort into improving your strengths and potential strengths. Going from good to great does not happen all on its own! This simple formula  is as follows: Effort x Strength = Results. When you put effort into something your are not good at and do not have the potential to be good at you get what happened in the movie Rudy, a football player from Notre Dame who over achieved but still achieved very little, one play in one meaningless college football game and no pro football career. If you put effort into what you do have the potential to be good at you get what happened to another Notre Dame football player by the name of Joe Montana. So would you rather be the Rudy or Joe Montana at your work, in your job and at your career?



4. Focusing On Not Making The Mistake At Work, In Your Job And During Your Career- Focusing on not making a mistake means concentrating on avoiding what you don’t want to do instead of focusing on what you do want to do at work, in your job and at your career!

When you focus on not making a particular mistake, what usually ends up happening is that you make that exact mistake! If a race car driver continually focuses on not hitting the wall lap after lap, chances are he is going to hit the wall. Why? This is because he is actually focusing on hitting the wall as opposed the opposite of hitting the wall; taking a smooth fast corner and dipping in towards the infield. The key to not making a mistake is concentrating on and visualizing the opposite of the mistake you are trying not to make, it means focusing on what the successful outcome looks like at work, in your job and during your career!

So how do you focus on success?  This in part comes down to something I have already mentioned, visualization. Visualizing your success, what it looks like, sounds like and feels like at work, in your job and at your  career is incredibly important! Another way is to surround yourself with reminders, objects and things that you want your outcome to be, the future you are aiming at, who you are trying to be and what you are trying to become at work, in your job and during your career! This works not only because it inspires you, but because it helps you to focus and reminds you that it is actually possible!


3. Believing It’s All About The Big Choices At Work, In Your Job And During Your  Career – Big choices are those moments of decision that we believe will have the largest impact on our lives and the situation around us. Believing it’s all about those moments means forgetting about the smaller choices we are making every day at work, in your job and during your career!

As men we often think that success is solely or at least mostly the result of those glorious monumental and momentous occasions that we see in the movies, but in truth it is not. It’s understandable how we make this mistake, after all, what stands out to us the most? What do we remember most clearly when we look back at work, our jobs and our careers? Those times where our emotions are running high and we were fearful, stressed, excited or all the above.

The point here is not that those decisions are unimportant, it’s that as a result we often devalue and forget about all of the little decisions along the way. However, when you add all of the little decisions together, they are not so little anymore, in fact they greatly outweigh the seemingly “big” choices we make! That is the key, realizing the impact the cumulative effect all of those smaller choices have at work, in your job and during your career. The mistake we make is we treat each decision as seperate and independent when really they are not. We make 3000 to 4000 decisions every day. Success comes from continually make the right and smart choices on a daily basis.

So how do we implement this? First you need to change your perspective, if you don’t believe this you will never commit to it at work, in your job and during your career!

Second, you need to start practicing making those small decisions correctly! Begin analysing your decisions and purposeful take more time out of your day to focus on them at work, in your job and during your career! Paying attention to everything you do; realize and see the choice you are making in all of your actions. Then link the m to your end goal. Ask yourself if these decisions are helping or hurting you get to your end goal.

Effort and time are the key ingredients! If you become purposeful and deliberate instead of accidental and unfocused, you will greatly improve your decision making!


2. Experiencing Without Learning At Work, In Your Job And During Your  Career– We are constantly experiencing life every moment of every day, however, to reflect on this experience and learn from it is something totally different.

While experience can be valuable, it can also be totally useless unless one reflects on it and learns the right things from it. You probably know some people who keep on making the same mistakes over and over again at work, in their job and during their career, experience is not the problem, learning is. It’s similar to saying that someone who has been divorced 4 times has lots of great marriage experience! They do, they just clearly have not drawn from it!

Without exception, virtually every person has great experience to draw on even though each person experience may seem very different from each others! There are common threads and parallels that run through many seemingly different experiences, thus one does not have to have experienced every imaginable type of event or situation to be able to reflect, learn and come to the same conclusions.

There is more still, even when a person does come to the same conclusion, we must remember that everybody is different! The truth is that what works for one person will not necessarily work for another at their work, in their job and during their career. While some “rules” are universal and many lessons generally work for many people, many do not and even the ones that do  look different for different people when they are applied and put into action. This is why two different people can go through exactly the same situation and experience it in a totally disparate manner. This means you should always reflect on your experience in addition to learning from others.

How do you reflect and learn? At the end of every day think about what happened that day. Come up with a list of events that took place and that you were a part of. Then come up with at least one thing you learned, gained insight on or want to improve on at work, in your job and during your career. Then figure out a way to turn it into action. Write it down and keep a list. This will add up in a hurry!


1. Not Having A Role Model For Your Work, Your Job And Your  CareerA role model is someone who is doing what you are doing but has proven to be able to do it very well and at a level you want to be at work, in your job and during your career!

What could possibly be a better source of information that someone who knows what you are doing and how to do it well? Instead of the method of trial and error, and the wasted time it entails, you can jump way ahead and avoid those mistakes by finding out what to avoid from your role model. The whole idea behind a role model is taping into the reasons behind their proven success. This means moving beyond the mistakes and into what to do, not just what not to do at work, in your job and during your career. There is no substitute for getting quality information from quality people!

How do you do this? – The ease of which you can do this with may surprise you. First, you need to find someone who is an expert! They don’t have to be the best but they have to be very good, better than you and at a level you want to be at! Start by looking around you where you work already, then move out from there.

Next, be straight forward and honest about your intentions and why you are contacting them. Don’t try to pretend you want to be their friend, they will see though this, besides the fact that they probably don’t want anymore friends anyways. The reality is people love to share what they know and have learned! Some people do this because they love to help but  mostly because it makes them feel valuable and important!

Lastly, prepare good questions regarding your work, your job and your career. Take lots of notes and most importantly, don’t try to prove anything to them or impress them! Just let them lead and impress them instead with your ability to learn from them!


-If you want to know how this specifically applies to you as a unique individual in your unique situation at work, in your job and during your career…

-If you want to take action, apply this and overcome the barriers and obstacles at work, in your job and during your career while using your strengths…

-If you want to stay on track once you’re on track…

Start by booking a free 45 minute life coaching sample session using the form in the top right corner or email me at or call 250-889-0988 today!


5 Critical Errors Men Make That Prevent Them From Finding The Job And Career They Crave!

Saturday, December 3rd, 2011


5. Not Knowing Your Strengths – Your strengths are both the things you are already good at and the things you have the potential to be great at in your job and during your career.

The importance of this may seem simple and straightforward but here it is nonetheless: when you do what you are good at you are much more likely to succeed then when you do something you are not good! Furthermore, this gives you happiness and confidence because the results reflect on your abilities! In fact, those that do what they are good at are 6 times more likely to be emotionally engage at their work, 6 times! They are also 3 times more likely to have a high quality of life!

So how do you do you find out what your strengths and potential strengths are for work, for a job and for your career?

1) The first thing you can do is reflect on your own experiences.

2) The 2nd thing you can do is ask others what they see in you. Often people who know you well have insights about you that you do not.

3) Finally use the tests that are available to you! StrengthsFinder 2.0 byGallup has over 40 years of research in over 60 different countries involving millions of people! Needless to say it’s very accurate and effective!


4. Doing What You “Should” vs What You Want For Your Job And Your Career– This means doing what is mistakenly might be  thought of as “practical” or “rational” instead of doing what you are passionate and excited about. But how much sense does it make to do something you are not passionate about? How much sense does it make to avoid what you are passionate about?

Doing what is practical and rational is not the opposite of doing what you are excited and passionate about! As I mentioned earlier, how logical is it to cut the passion out of your work, job and career? Knowing and doing what energizes you, fills you up and causes you to be excited goes as long way in determining how successful you will be! It’s simple! How much more effective would you be at what you are doing if you had more energy and passion? It’s the difference between checking what time it is so you can leave work and wanting to stay late!

Think about something you love doing, something you make time for. How do you feel when you are doing this thing? You feel great and you work really hard at it! Time speeds by! Well you can have the same feeling or at least a very similar feeling at work, in your job and during your career or at least something similar that is a huge improvement from what you are experiencing right now. This is great place to be because instead of having to find ways to motivate your self to keep going, you have to find ways to stop working!

How do you do this? This requires that you know your values and interests.

We all know the activities that we like to do such as the sports we like to play, but what about the underlying values that cause you to enjoy them? These are the values that are broader and deeper than just the actions you find them in. For example, you may love hockey, but how do you play hockey in your career? Most likely you cant, but you can find out the foundational values in hockey such as teamwork, clear results, challenge and competition that you are honouring and deliberately apply them to your choices in your career! To do this, explore the things you like and find the deeper values. You can also think about your peak experiences in your life those days, hours and moments that are some of your best ever, that you wish could just keep going forever. The reason they stand out in your mind and felt so good is because your deepest and most powerful values were being honored many different times in many different ways!

Next apply your list of values to potential  jobs, work positions and career options and see which are the most closely aligned!


3. Not Tackling The Fear Of Failure –  The fear of failure is a fear we all deal with, especially men and especially when it comes to looking for the right work, job or career! We worry about not accomplishing what we want to and not performing up to our standards and the standards of others!

The fear of failure can be gripping, but even when it’s not debilitating it still causes us to be passive instead of taking action or perform at a lower level than we otherwise would at work, our job and in our career! The power of the fear of failure actually lies in the fact that we internalize it. That is, instead of just believing we have failed at something, we believe that we are failures! See the difference? We take it on and actually believe that who we are is a failure as opposed to what we did. The good news is this can be changed!

The fear of failure can be destroyed but you have to know how! The key lies in the fact that is very illogical! In particular we often let our results define who we are, especially when it comes to work, our job and our career. Here is an example. Let’s say that one day I did the worlds greatest seminar for men, it would never happen but lets use our imagination and pretend. Next, lets pretend that the very next day I did the worlds worst seminar for men, now that’s actually possible though very unlikely. So what happened? Well if I let my results define my , I would have to believe that some how I magically gained all of the worlds speaking skills instantly only to magically lose them again the following day. How much sense does that make? Obviously none and that is the point! Did my skills and abilites actually change at all? No, not beyond anything minor, all that happened was I used my existing skills really well one day, then not the other. Perhaps it was the situation or something else in my life, who knows! The point is letting your results define you makes no sense! So remember, that who you are doesn’t change whether you fail or succeed. You strengths, values, character and personality remained are independent of those things. Separate your results from who you are and remind yourself of this daily!


2. Failure to Dream – This doesn’t mean actually falling asleep and dreaming but rather, dreaming and thinking about all of the options that are out there for work, a job and a career! And there are many!

How can you possibly make a good decision about what career to embark on if you don’t have all the options out in front of you? The answer is you can’t. If you don’t take the time to do this or if you can’t imagine what options are available to you for work, a job and a career, you are going to severely limit your job and career possibilities and potentially miss out on something great, something you might be great at and something you could really enjoy!  Just think, how many things in this world would have been accomplished if people had not dreamed beyond what was immediately around them? Not a lot! If you do not dream, you are assuring yourself of one thing at least; not accomplishing anything significant.

So how do you help yourself to dream and collect information so you can make the best decision you can regarding work, your job and your career?

First you have to let go of the circumstances and events that are currently taking place in your life. All they will serve to do is keep you from exploring the possibilities of life by keeping you in the present with life’s present problems and challenges. It’s best to close your eyes and imagine yourself 10 years from now. You see, when you imagine into the future, life’s current problems and challenges fade away freeing you to dream about things you otherwise would never think of or consider!

Another way is to just look around see what is happening around you in the world. What are other people doing and what have they done? If someone else is doing it then start thinking about it! Begin reading books, using the internet and researching any way you can!

Lastly talk to someone who is knowledgeable! Some people specialize in knowing what kind of jobs and careers are available and what they entail. These people are a great source of information!

Dreaming is not an ability but something we must simply be willing to do! There is lots of information out there, so start collecting it!


1. Limiting Beliefs – Limiting beliefs are simply the things you believe about yourself that if true would limit your ability to achieve something you wanted to achieve, in this case at work, your job and in your career.

The key words are “if true”, you see these are beliefs not truths, in other words just because you believe something this doesn’t mean it is true. The fact is, your limiting beliefs are the number 1 thing stopping you from achieving what you want and what you can achieve. The limiting beliefs with the highest impact are the limiting beliefs about yourself. We all have them and they are different for each person. First you must identify them, so spend some time thinking about negative things you believe about yourself outside of work, your job and your career. Some common ones include

-I am not as smart as the people who are on top…

-I cannot work as hard as those who are successful…

-I’m not gifted enough to make it out on my own…

Your limiting beliefs come from how you’ve interpret your experiences in life. That’s right, not the experience it’self but how you interpreted it! The great thing is this means you can re interpret your experiences and give them new meaning! The truth is your experiences mean nothing more than the meaning you give them, which means you are in complete control! This is why a catastrophic failure and dead end to one person is an opportunity and a new beginning for another! They simply choose to view it differently.

So how do you overcome your existing limiting beliefs so you can have the job and career you want?

Start creating doubt! Start questioning those limiting beliefs! Start coming up with as much reasons as possible as to why they are not true! There are many, you just have to find them!

Once you’ve done this, come up with reasons why you are very smart, why you are very capable, why you can be successful!  Then reinterpret the experiences that stand out in your mind and turn them into the positive using this new information!

Lastly, start remembering the things you have done well that you don’t need to reinterpret at all. You may feel hard pressed to find them at first, especially if you’ve buried them deep down and far away. Everybody has successes in their life, focus on them!


-If you want to know how this specifically applies to you as a unique individual in your unique situation at work, your job and in your career…

-If you want to take action, apply this and overcome the barriers and obstacles in your life at work, your job and in your career while using your strengths…

-If you want to stay on track once you’re on track…

Start by booking a free 45 minute life coaching sample session using the form in the top right corner or email me at or call 250-889-0988 today!